When the going gets tough

Years ago, I was leading a production during a live event when something went wrong. The kind of wrong that leaves no time for discussion.

I turned to one of the team members and gave him instructions. "Do this. Then this. Then this." No cushioning. No explanation. Just clear direction.

He did exactly what I asked, and we got the situation back under control. But I caught the look on his face. He was surprised. This wasn't how I normally spoke to people, and I think, for a moment, he wondered if he'd done something wrong. I didn't explain myself there and then. The priority was solving the problem.

Later, once the event was over, we gathered with the management team to review the day. As I recapped what had happened, I made a point of recognising each person's contribution—what they'd done and why it mattered. When I came to him, I described exactly how he'd handled the situation under pressure and how much his actions had contributed to the outcome. I wasn't trying to repair anything. I was simply acknowledging excellent work where it deserved to be acknowledged.

Years later, he still talks about that day. Not because I was direct. Because I didn't forget to recognise him afterwards.

He once summed it up better than I ever could: "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going—but you never forgot to celebrate the success."

That conversation has stayed with me because it captures something I believe is often misunderstood about leadership. Being decisive in a critical moment doesn't make you cold. Showing appreciation afterwards doesn't make you weak.

Great leaders know when people need direction and when they need recognition. Those aren't competing leadership styles—they're complementary leadership skills.

In a crisis, people need clarity.

After the crisis, they need to know they mattered.

Leading with empathy isn't about softening every conversation. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is be crystal clear. But once the pressure has passed, don't miss the opportunity to recognise the people who helped carry the load.

That's what people remember.

Not just how you led them through the challenge, but how you made them feel once it was over.